


The Skinny Man

by inigosolo



Category: Horrible Histories
Genre: Growing Up Together, M/M, UST, love between men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-24
Updated: 2012-05-24
Packaged: 2017-11-05 22:39:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/411768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inigosolo/pseuds/inigosolo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The meandering story of Heph and Alex's childhood friendship from the point of view of a rather too serious and sulky Hephaestion...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Skinny Man

**Author's Note:**

> This is a completely random thing and I have no idea how to continue it. *sheepish smile*

Whenever people he'd just been introduced to remarked upon his “extraordinary closeness” with Alexander, they usually had a question about what Alexander was like as a boy, or more often than not they asked him to describe the day he'd first met the future conqueror.   
  
Hephaestion would respond with that wooden stoicism he was so adept at, and tell them that he could not recall his first meeting with Alexander.   
  
People always withdrew from him as quickly as was politely possible at social functions. Hephaestion sometimes imagined that he could hear their thoughts. All of them were wondering why Alexander the Great put up with such a skinny, gangling, sour-faced bore as his right hand man. They had heard tales of the great, unbreakable bond between the two, a friendship so close as to rival that of Achilles and Patrocles. Now they observed that the two could not have been more different.   
  
Alexander was stood in the centre of a wide circle of admirers, all rapt with attention as he regaled them with some story or other. The Great One was sturdy and solidly built, all smooth, hard powerful muscles, fair of skin and hair with a strong, noble, angelically handsome face. He was so perfect, he was just this side of being ridiculous, Hephaestion thought as he rolled his eyes and skulked in a corner. In contrast, he himself was long, lean and stringy, tanned skin and a thin face usually set into a disagreeable expression. Of course it was no matter to him what he looked like. Hephaestion was above such petty concerns. But it was hard for him to understand at times how Alexander could enjoy all the attention directed towards him at soirées such as this.  
  
There was always important work to be done. And Hephaestion was always eager to get to it. He had a keen, studious mind that thrived on having problems to solve. Socialising and charming people was not a gift he possessed, which was just one of the many reasons why he was the second in command and Alexander was the conqueror of the known world.

  
*********

  
Of course he remembers the day he first met Alexander.   
  
Hephaestion had loved Mieza from his very first day. What could be better for a serious boy with an enquiring mind than to be constantly occupied with learning? He was in his element, soaking up knowledge from the tutor, Aristotle.   
  
The other boys, all sons of Macedonian noblemen like himself, were generally less conscientious. They swiftly formed pairs and small friendship groups, but Hephaestion did not feel left out by this. He already understood himself to be a solitary creature and accepted this aspect of his nature.   
  
Then the son of King Phillip arrived at Mieza. The thirteen-year-old Alexander hadn't looked like much, he remembers. He can still see the Great One as he was then, short for his age, stocky, with a shock of reddish hair and unusually pale skin.   
  
It didn't take long for the others boys to suss out the newcomer. Alexander was quiet and studious, much like Hephaestion, and so, out of convenience more than anything else, the two were lumped together.   
  
They were paired up in lessons which required debate or discussion, as well as being put together for walks and exercise. A comradeship of necessity developed.   
  
The difference between the two of them, Hephaestion soon discovered, was that under Alexander's unprepossessing surface lay a truly bewildering confidence that Hephaestion could not begin to emulate.

  
*********

  
As young boys spending their days engaged in serious academic pursuits, they all obviously needed some free time to let off the abundant lingering energy of childhood.   
  
Hephaestion and Alexander, though they would have denied it at the time had anyone asked them, spent most of their free time that first year playing a hugely complicated game of strategy that involved the two of them stalking each other through the countryside around Mieza with imaginary armies. The rules of this game would have been nigh-on indecipherable to anyone else, had anyone else been interested in it. Both boys played their roles as opposing generals straight-faced for the most part, although occasionally their youthfulness would get the better of them and they would laugh and joke and wrestle each other in the long grass.   
  
It became clear to Hephaestion as their games of strategy progressed from year to year that Alexander was not just a clever and astute boy with a thirst for knowledge. He was, undeniably and to Hephaestion's eternal ire, a genius.   
  
Hephaestion could (and often did) spend weeks plotting the movement of his tiny wooden-markered armies into a spectacularly well defended position, and Alexander would scratch his head for a moment, stretch his rapidly broadening shoulders, and wipe out Hephaestion's entire forces with a strategy that he had just devised on the spot. In fact, Hephaestion's armies were destroyed with such depressing regularity that he would have stormed off to play with his other friends, if he'd had any other friends half as willing to play with him as Alexander.   
  
It was deeply unfair to be paired up with a boy who could make all your not-inconsiderable achievements look very very ordinary in comparison. But for all intents and purposes the two were stuck with each other.   
  
Even more unfair was the fact that as the years went by, Hephaestion found that he really didn't _mind_ being stuck with Alexander.

  
*********

  
There were, thankfully, a few areas in which Hephaestion excelled where Alexander didn't. Engineering was one. And he was definitely better at mathematics. And strangest of all, their tutor preferred _him_. All the boys understood that Hephaestion was Aristotle's favourite. What was less clear to Hephaestion was why _he_ should be preferred over such a prodigy as Alexander.   
  
He didn't spend too much time pondering this, however. They were fifteen years old, it was summer, and their free time was more precious to them than ever.   
  
That particular morning found Hephaestion crouched in the long yellow grass at the base of a tree, waiting for Alexander to pass by so that he could jump out and give him a fright. Alexander had managed to ambush Hephaestion in this manner so many times lately that it was becoming embarrassing. It was almost a relief that the other boys didn't bother with them much, just so that there wasn't a crowd around to watch the normally reserved and unflappable Hephaestion jump out of his skin when Alexander pounced on him...  
  
But this morning would be different. Hephaestion knew that Alexander would have to walk down this path in order to get to their meeting place, and he knew that the long grass hid him from the path completely. He'd get his revenge alright, he just had to wait.   
  
So he waited. And waited.   
  
The sun moved across the sky, the insects buzzed and Hephaestion grew damp from the morning dew. He shifted his back ever so slightly, contemplating walking back towards the schoolrooms -   
  
And then an enormous heavy thing, like a bear, _surely_ a bear, fell out of the tree and on top of him and squashed him face first into the grass. He shouted out in alarm, and even as the sound left his mouth regretted it, realising that the bear was in fact Alexander and he'd embarrassed himself again.   
  
Still pumping with adrenaline, and more than a little annoyed, he rolled over and grappled with the other boy. Fists flew and they tumbled over grass and earth.  
  
And Alexander landed on top of him (again) and sat on him, pinning his scrawny shoulders to the ground. And Hephaestion cursed and thrashed and blushed as Alexander laughed triumphantly above him, and eventually couldn't help himself but join in laughing.   
  
Later, when he'd asked how Alexander had known he would be hiding in the long grass, the other boy had shrugged his shoulders and looked thoughtful.   
  
“I don't know, Skinny... I just knew exactly where you were, didn't really have to think about it.” He laughed, and his curly ginger head shook. “I think I could smell you. So I crept through the woods and climbed the tree and looked down, and there you were.”  
  
Everyone knew that Hephaestion was a bit of a cold fish, was calm and serious and never made a fuss about anything petty. But Alex wasn't _everyone_ , so Hephaestion bristled and sulked.   
  
Although he knew the description fitted, he hated when Alexander called him 'Skinny'.

 

  
*********


End file.
